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- Every Man Is Playing One of 4 Roles. Only One Ends the Drift.
What Story Are You Living?
Every man is living a story.
The question is—are you the one writing it?
Most men aren’t.
They’re stuck on autopilot—reacting, coping, drifting.
They’ve handed the pen to their past, their pain, or their profession.
And now they wonder why the story feels flat, aimless, or incomplete.
At Argent Alpha, we believe the second half of life is where the real story begins.
Not coasting. Not retiring.
Reinvention. Responsibility. Relevance.
If you're a man over 50 and you're still breathing, you've got work to do.
Not busywork—meaningful work. Inner work.
The kind that changes you. And the people you lead.
In May, we dedicated our weekly R.A.D. (Recurring Accountability Drivers) meetings to this idea. We explored what it means to live with narrative clarity—to step out of the default story and consciously write the next chapter.
Narrative clarity means you know the man you're becoming—and you align your actions to that identity. You don’t drift. You decide.
You see yourself not as a spectator, but as the author.
We framed this using Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey—the universal structure that underlies every powerful transformation story, from Odysseus to Rocky. Campbell showed that all growth follows a pattern: The Call to Adventure, Resistance, Trials, Transformation, and Return.
But most men over 50 miss the call.
They pretend they didn’t hear it.
Or worse—they decide it’s too late.
Donald Miller, in Hero on a Mission, builds on this by showing that every man cycles through four roles. The key is to recognize them—and choose better:
Victim – Life is happening to me
Villain – I take my pain out on others—or turn it inward
Hero – I face the challenge and grow
Guide – I lead others by how I live, not just what I say
You can’t become the Guide until you’ve lived as the Hero.
And you can’t become the Hero if you’re stuck as the Victim or Villain.
Every man receives a Call to Adventure.
But most ignore it.
What’s calling you right now—but you’re not listening?
The voice telling you your potential is being wasted?
The voice urging you to stop the habits that are breaking you down?
The voice telling you to stop hiding, punishing, or sabotaging yourself?
That voice doesn’t go away. It gets quieter—but it never disappears.
Adventure is calling. And it won’t wait forever.
To change your life, you must first change your role.
You’re not locked in.
You move through roles—sometimes in the same day.
The real work is recognizing the role you’re in, then choosing the better one.
Ask yourself: Who am I being right now?
If the answer isn’t Hero, work your way back.
Because if your story feels flat, the answer isn’t more motivation.
It’s a new mission. A new identity. A new direction.
Take the pen back.
Write your own next chapter.
The Four Roles Every Man Must Face
You can’t fix what you don’t name.
And most men don’t even realize the role they’re playing.
One minute they’re frustrated—blaming everything and everyone around them.
The next, they’re sabotaging their progress, skipping workouts, eating like crap, numbing out.
Later, they try to get back on track—but only after drifting for days, weeks, or months.
This is why the concept of the Four Roles matters.
It gives you a lens to see your current behavior—and a ladder to climb out.
1. The Victim
Believes life is happening to him
Avoids responsibility
Blames genetics, upbringing, or bad luck
Says things like: “It’s just the way I am” or “That’s what I’m used to”
Numbs out, hides, or complains
Every man slips into Victim mode. The key is not to stay there.
Victims don’t change their lives. They just explain why they can’t.
2. The Villain
Turns pain into blame—toward others or self
Justifies toxic behavior
Sabotages goals, relationships, or momentum
Punishes instead of produces
Villain mode often follows Victim mode. You get tired of feeling powerless, so you lash out—externally or internally.
Sometimes it even feels justified. But here’s the giveaway: anger, jealousy, resentment, hatred.
You don’t feel those emotions when you’re operating from Hero or Guide.
3. The Hero
Accepts the challenge
Takes full ownership
Leans into discomfort
Trains for a future worth living
The Hero doesn’t wait. He doesn’t whine or hesitate. He shows up.
He doesn’t have it all figured out—but he answers the Call to Adventure and writes the next page.
At Argent Alpha, the initial Hero work looks like:
Working your way to 15% body fat
Reversing biological age
Improving performance in the A³ standards
Living with personal integrity—walking the talk
The Hero doesn’t waste time complaining. He course-corrects. He does the work.
This is where transformation happens—by building momentum through aligned action.
4. The Guide
Leads by how he lives, not what he says
Stays aligned with his values, even under pressure
Builds trust through consistency
Offers wisdom, not control
You don’t declare yourself the Guide.
You earn it—by living with integrity, again and again.
In Argent Alpha, becoming the Hero is just the beginning:
Hitting 15% body fat
Lowering your biological age
Progressing across the A³ standards
Living the Alpha 5, daily
Do that long enough, and the shift happens.
You stop asking, “What can I get?”
And you start asking, “What can I give?”
That’s the Guide.
And that’s when your story starts to change others—not just yourself.
As Donald Miller puts it: “The Guide is the final identity.”
But only after you’ve lived the Hero’s journey.
People recognize a Guide.
He doesn’t need to dominate—he draws people in. He’s a magnet.
Ask Yourself:
Where do you spend most of your time?
Which role are you defaulting to under pressure?
What would it look like to spend more time in Hero mode?
You don’t stay in one role forever.
You move through them—often in the same day.
But once you learn to spot the role you’re in, you can choose the right one next.
Resistance Is the Enemy
When you choose the Hero role, expect opposition.
Not from your environment.
Not from other people.
From something more subtle—and more dangerous.
From Resistance.
Steven Pressfield named it in The War of Art:
“Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate; it will seduce you. Resistance is insidious. It will assume any form… It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”
He expanded on it in Turning Pro, where he made the choice clear:
“The difference between an amateur and a professional is in their habits. An amateur has amateur habits. A professional has professional habits.”
Resistance isn’t just laziness. It’s dressed up as logic.
It whispers rational-sounding lies, especially to men over 50:
“I need to focus on work right now. My health can wait.”
“My kids are heading off to college—I want to be present.”
“I’ve been injured before. Better to play it safe.”
These are what we call noble excuses.
They sound virtuous.
They might even be partially true.
But they’re still copouts when they prevent you from owning your mission.
Because this isn’t about choosing between work, family, and health.
It’s about choosing the right priority at the right time.
It’s not OR. It’s AND.
You can:
Be a high-performing provider and train like it matters.
Show up for your family and show up for yourself.
Exercise caution and still pursue progress.
That’s what professionals do.
The amateur hesitates. The Pro acts.
At Argent Alpha, that means:
You train even when you’re tired
You track even when it’s inconvenient
You show up even when no one’s watching
Resistance doesn’t go away.
You just get stronger than it.
And when you feel it—when those noble excuses start whispering—you know you’re near something meaningful.
That’s when you double down.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
So ask yourself: What’s the cave I keep avoiding?
And what would happen if I entered it this week?
The Final Role: Becoming the Guide
Not everyone gets here. And that’s the point.
The Guide is a man who’s earned his voice by living the right way—not just talking about it.
He doesn’t have to post about it. He doesn’t need applause. He’s just dialed in.
He trains with intention. Leads his family with strength and presence. Stays consistent with his standards—even when no one’s watching.
That’s what earns trust.
And that trust gives him influence—not by title, but by example.
But here’s the catch:
You can’t play the Guide in someone else’s story until you’ve stopped playing the Victim in your own.
Most men want to jump straight to the final role. Especially after 50. They want to pass on what they’ve learned.
But real guidance doesn’t come from hindsight—it comes from alignment.
Alignment with your values. Your standards. Your identity.
When you live that way long enough, people start to notice. They start asking questions. They follow your lead—not because you told them to, but because you showed them how.
You don’t need a podcast. You don’t need a pulpit.
You just need to live in a way that others want to model.
That’s the power of the Guide.
Write the Next Chapter
If you’ve made it this far, you already know this isn’t motivational fluff.
This is a mirror.
You’ve seen the roles: Victim, Villain, Hero, Guide.
You’ve probably recognized each one in yourself. Good. That means you’re paying attention.
But recognition isn’t enough. What matters is what you do next.
Here’s where to start:
1. Identify the Role You're In
Not just today—but this hour.
Pay attention to your language, your posture, your patterns.
Are you blaming? That’s the Victim.
Are you sabotaging? That’s the Villain.
Are you showing up with discipline? That’s the Hero.
Are you modeling what matters? That’s the Guide.
Awareness is the first rep. Build the habit.
2. Get Back to Hero Mode
No more noble excuses.
Yes, your work matters. So does your family.
But none of it works if you don’t.
Start training again.
Clean up your diet.
Get to bed earlier.
Cut the excuses and do the work.
When in doubt, choose effort. That’s what Heroes do.
3. Close One Gap
Where are you out of alignment?
Pick one place where your behavior isn’t matching your values.
Fix it this week—not all of it, just one layer.
Alignment isn’t perfection.
It’s consistency over time. It’s truth in action.
4. Write a Bigger Story
If your current chapter is ending—job, career, marriage, milestone—that’s not a crisis. It’s an opening.
Start your next story now.
Don’t wait for someone to give you permission.
Pick up the pen and decide who you’re becoming.
You’re not out of time.
You’re out of excuses.
Final Word
Every man is living a story.
The tragedy? Most aren’t the ones writing it.
They’re stuck in roles they didn’t choose—reactive, resigned, disconnected.
But that’s not how the story has to go.
At Argent Alpha, we help men take the pen back.
Not by offering hype. But by building habits.
Not by chasing motivation. But by developing mission.
We don’t do rescue.
We do responsibility.
If you’re over 50, the second half of your life isn’t winding down—it’s opening up.
And how you show up now determines who you become next.
Because stories don’t end. They evolve.
The only question is: Are you writing your next chapter—or waiting for someone else to write it for you?
The call to adventure still stands.
Your Future Self is still waiting.
